no rush on the rush proves a constant rush

from the minute i came into view of the rush river after descending the downstream side of the small bridge spanning this river valley, it hit me how thankful i was for this day.  it hit me how lucky i am to be here, doing something i love.  it hit me that at this point in my life, i could be too busy from doing such things, but having a wife that supports who i am and what makes me... me....  allows me to flourish and continue the exploration of the boundaries of my individuality.  .....a gift i do not take for granted, and one which i hope i'm always willing to return and value.

i decided today, that instead of rigging up at the van and being prepared to cast a line in at the first welcoming hole i encountered, i kept my tippet wrapped in hand and was going to breathe, walk slowly, listen, watch, and breathe.

i arrived two hours prior to the time that joe and khang would be showing up today, and so i had some time to myself to just be.  i decided i did not want to get in the habit of being too distracted by fishing, so much so that i began to overlook.  overlook all that surrounds me.  overlook what you cannot see when you're busy preparing and casting fly line.  overlook the sounds.   overlook the silence.  overlook the shadows cast by a morning's rising sun.

i took the video above to try and capture this process of slowing down.  this process of listening, and watching, and taking in the moment with deep, slow breaths.  of course no video can recreate such practice, and yet it can point in the direction i was attempting to guide myself this particular morning.  the trout were not going anywhere far, and there was plenty of time left in a day that was beginning around 10am and that i was going to be fishing until the sun decided it had had enough for the day.

i walked the river bed for some time, and eventually chose a spot where a couple of canadian geese were having their equivalent to a morning coffee with each other.  they were not happy about my presence, and made that known to me.  i smiled, and wished them a good morning, but this did not do anything to help.  the male flapped its wings violently and honked at me.  he decided it was not worth charging today, and i'm glad he did.  i just wasn't in the mood for a fight with a goose.

the couple made their way upstream and didn't bother to say good bye.  i sort of felt bad about intruding, but i figured they could fly, and i couldn't.  i'm not saying its bullet-proof logic, but they were not looking for trout and i was.   so.

i only had my line in for about 30 minutes by the time joe piped in over our two-way radios.  they had arrived 15 minutes shy of noon, and were ready to get moving.  i could definitely understand their excitement and anticipation.

joe asked if i had caught any fish, and when i replied no, he said, "well, i was going to say 'my work is done' if you had caught fish already.  you have to know how to fish these holes, they aren't as obvious as other places."  i just gave him a knod and smiled.  no matter what he believed, i certainly knew his work wasn't done!  i have much to learn.

we headed upstream (as opposed to the direction i had taken earlier), and joe put each of us in spots he knew were ripe for trout picking.  khang and joe both started off quickly with numerous trout in the net in the first hour, while i struggled to find what the trout were looking for.  khang's success was especially exciting since this was only his second time out with minimal equipment!  this man was born to fish.  having fished since he was a little boy, he has a powerfully acute intuition when it comes to dropping line in the water.  its fun to watch him pick things up so quickly, and just a bit humbling.

i had never caught a fish yet on my own flies.  so when my fortunes were not going well, i decided to take what i considered to be my most unique fly i've made yet, and throw it on the line.  i name all my flies, an act i still am not sure whether joe appreciates or is annoyed by, and this particular fly i dubbed "special ed."  there are a number of reasons for this, part of which has to do with an inside joke between joe and i, and part of it has to do with the fact that my wife has worked in special education for over 13 years.  anyway, i have always loved this fly, and told joe that even though it doesn't look like all the other traditional flies, it was a winner.

i tied on "special ed" and within 5 casts, my indicator dropped beneath the bubbling water.  when i lifted my 9 foot rod tip up in response, i felt a very substantial counter-response under the surface.

i had a nice sized trout hooked!

this trout ran and ran.  he swam upstream and downstream trying to figure his plan of escape.  i followed him gently and let him work out some of his initial adrenaline before guiding him to the opposite shore where i could stand in more shallow water to net him.  eventually i netted him, and found that i had caught a very nice sized 14.5 inch trout.

(you can see my "special ed" fly on his belly,
you may have to click picture to see it though)

this was the biggest trout i had caught to date!  it was also my first trout caught on the rush river.  and it was the first time i had caught a trout with my own fly.  three firsts in one netted trout.  amazingly, within 20 minutes i followed this up with a 14 inch trout, and a 12 inch trout.  three of the biggest i had ever caught, and all in the matter of a half hour, and all with "special ed"!!

i decided to move on after this, and unfortunately in the process tripped and fell for the first time into the river (at least the first time where i actually filled my waders).  it was relatively warm (high 50s) and so it didn't matter a great deal, and actually felt good to get drenched for a short time, but i still felt like all left feet because of it.

the day from here on was simply amazing.  and for all three of us.  khang and joe were into double digits for number of fish caught by 4pm or so, and i was at around 7 at the same time.  it was a just a fantastic day for catching trout.  all three of us had two way radios, and so we were able to check in with each other from time to time.  the radios really added a new dimension to fishing together that i appreciated.  instead of only being able to check-in once or twice a day, we were able to talk about what was going on throughout the day.  that just made it feel more communal, and allowed us to talk about what we were having success with in terms of technique and/or flies.

toward the evening, like around 6:30pm, i went on a tear with the fish i was catching.  after about an hour lull, i ended up catching 10 fish in the matter of two hours.  it ended up bringing my count to 18 for the day, shattering my previous record of 9 in an entire day.  in that span, i tried different casting techniques, and actually fished most the afternoon with a dual-rig setup.  this was another first for the day.  joe had talked about this for about 10 months now, but i had refrained from trying due to the fact that i was still trying to grow comfortable with my casting.  casting becomes even more important with a dual-rig setup, because with two flies whizzing through the air, its that much more to get tangled if you're not performing all aspects properly.

i fell in love with this technique though, as it allowed me to fish top water (dry flies) and sub-surface at the same time.  i ended up catching 12 of my 18 fish for the day on dry flies (specifically caddis, which are top water, or dry flies).  dry flies are exciting because it requires the trout to surface to take your fly.  when they surface, the water explodes and that visual stimulus gets your heart racing instantaneously.  its a very exciting thing to experience.  not unlike watching a bass take your spinner bait while whipping through the flats.

khang and joe both ended up catching a large number of trout for the day as well, with joe catching such a large amount that he lost count after 25.  :)

khang pulled in 16, and all the while it being only his second (yes, second) day out.  the man is a natural.  the real deal.  he'll play it off so humbly, but he's so fun to watch and listen to as he picks everything up so quickly.

on my end, beyond the trout netted, i saw a trout jump completely out of the water for the first time.  it looked like a dolphin performing at sea world as it leaped into the air, froze at its apex, and then nose dived into the flowing river again.  it was a beautiful brookie.  i never caught a brook all day, but its unmistakable red-orange bottom fins and darker back almost seemed to glow in the late afternoon sun.

another happening worth noting was the walk back as the day grew dim.  i could have sworn i heard something that sounded like a bobcat, or mountain lion.  and i found out that both of these were actually possibilities!  i still haven't looked up what either of these sound like, but at one point i heard something that sounded like a territorial hiss/growl/sneer reminiscent of a cat-like predator.  i never did see it, but it happened three times.  its a little unnerving to think what was not far away and feeling threatened.

we all fished until the sun dropped beneath the horizon, eeking out every last minute we could.  khang was the last to leave the river as he squeezed out the very last drop.  he actually manged to catch yet another fish as he did so.

and then the moon took over the evening sky.

when we got back to our vehicles, we began the process of taking off and loading our gear as we each told stories from our fantastic day.  everyone was heading home with smiles.  joe caught a number of large fish, one which fell short of rivaling the largest he's ever caught (~18 inches) at around 16 inches.  khang was simply enamored with his experiences, and never thought it could be quite this fun (as a life long "spin fisherman").  and i was soaking in the sheer number of "firsts" i had had today.

there are simply no words for the ways in which the time spent on the river rejuvenate, strengthen, and stretch my soul.  even as we closed our day, i ended it as i began......      so thankful.

i can only hope for many more such days and evenings.

the 5 p's

proper planning prevents poor presentation

have you ever heard that before?  i'm not sure how widespread the use of the so-called "5 p's" is, but i remember hearing it here and there growing up.  it was of course relative to giving a presentation to an audience, but in fly fishing there is a concept referred to as "presentation" as well.  this refers to how well you "present" to a different sort of audience....  that being the trout.  the subject of your presentation:  your fly.


the idea of "planning" was something on my mind as i headed to the kinnickinnic this week.  i had to plan weeks in advance to schedule getting off of work early. i had to plan the time off with kellie to make sure we had our children covered in my absence.  i had to plan for the outing itself, for which the first time i used a "checklist", an idea suggested by joe.  and if we consider practice a part of planning, i had been outside a few days in the past weeks practicing my casting skills in the front yard.


on top of all of this, i had invited my good friend bill to come along for the trip since he was on spring break (he is a math teacher).  however, in the end, it was decided that we had not adequately planned for him to join for the first time, and would likely result in a less than favorable experience with the logistics involved in heading out to the stream....   especially for the first time.


so there were many seemingly unrelated themes tying back to the importance of planning.  i didn't intentionally plan on writing about my two parents in my first two posts on this blog, but its interesting to me that the themes that have come to mind for the first two have connected rather clearly in my mind to childhood experiences of my parents.  my last blog had to do with "doing a job well."  this blog is focusing on the importance of planning.


my mother was amazing at this, and probably single handedly made at least a handful or two of our vacations twice as enjoyable as they would have been otherwise because of her attention to detail, and her gift (or pure choice perhaps??) of being able to plan well.  that has rubbed off on me in many ways.  i love to be spontaneous, and probably more than an average person....  but i've found that even in spontaneity, a modicum of strategic planning can make your spontaneous moments much more successful, memorable, and rewarding.


fishing yesterday illustrated this point numerous times, but none more clearly than as the setting sun approached the horizon just prior to nightfall.  as the day was coming to a close, i was fishing up stream from joe.  we had both sort of silently (maybe just subconsciously) decided to fish further apart than we otherwise had for most of the day, to wrap up what had become a near perfect day of fishing.

i am just learning what it means to be a fly fisherman, and in my infancy, i have not spent much time focusing on interpreting my environment (a very important skill for a fly fisherman).  but this evening i noticed a hatch had taken place, and there were ubiquitous bugs flying around me just above the surface of the water.  all day i had been fishing successfully with nymphs (which are a sub-surface pattern).  but along with the apparent hatch taking place, i was seeing the trout hit the surface.


apparently they were hungry and finding interest in what was above the surface of the water as they would poke their heads out, some more than others, to swallow whatever their eyes were targeting.


really for the first time since i began fishing last summer, i made the call to switch flies (without joe's advice :), and go with an elk hair caddis which is a dry fly that floats on the surface of the water if cast well.  i was relatively pleased with my casting (joe had been working with me all day mind you), and my presentation was solid.  presentation with a dry fly is especially important as you want to minimize "slapping" of the water with your line or with the fly itself.  the point is to have your fly come to the surface rather gingerly, mimicking the gentle motion of a real fly.


i casted probably 10 times and was not having any luck, and was starting to doubt my wisdom, when all of a sudden, SPLOOSH!  a respectably sized trout decided he liked what i had offered and took the fly into his mouth.  instinctively i followed suit with a lifting of my rod tip and a tightening of the fly line as i set the hook.  lucky for me, i had played it well, and the trout remained on the end of my line.


i netted the trout, and beamed inside as i had my first success after environment interpretation.  it was an extremely rewarding experience.  and it was at the helm of a spontaneous decision, but one based upon prior practice, preaching (a nice "p" word for "instruction", and more accurate to how joe has learned to speak to me :), and planning.  it was a fish caught that not just anyone would have netted.  that fish was the result of having been a diligent student, and it felt real good.


it was the last catch of the day for me, and it capped off what was a simply glorious afternoon.  one which offered to us mid-50s for temps, sunshine, and a near record trout count for me (6 or 7...   lost count...  7 would break my record), and a near trophy fish for joe ;)  (poor joe....    we both saw it on the end of his line....  i was there....   but we'll never know exactly how big that guy was.......  poor joe  :)


my spirit itches for summer as we've gotten a foretaste of glory divine, but with days like this....   i won't have trouble being too impatient....

kinnickinnic

Free from desire, you realize the mystery.

Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

-- Lao Tzu

it was from my father as a young boy that i learned the value of patience, and the satisfaction that comes from hard work.  he always said, "a job worth doing is a job worth doing well."  at such moments, i was usually then on my way back to the garage to finish turning my "ok" attempt at cleaning it into "a job done well."

such simple words really.  and yet its amazing to me how often we settle for something less than a "job done well" when its within our capacity to do so.

when i sat down to write tonight, it was this particular legacy of my dad's that came to mind as i stared at the photo above, and reminisced about my first trip to wisconsin as an aspiring fly fisherman.

in an internal sense, i am "coming into my own" as i approach my mid-thirties.  and i certainly do not mean to imply that i have answered all my questions, or have reached a point of perpetual equilibrium.  i am simply expressing the reality inside me that i would call "Peace."

for me, this is a relative term.  it is a peace that is comparative to all that has preceded me in my journey....  specifically in mind here, would be my inner journey.

there are perhaps many factors that have played into this experience of self-actualization, some big some small.  but as this has taken place, i find myself placing in front of me all that has become uniquely "me" as an object of reflection itself, and then locating it within the wider story of my life.  in some respects it is hard to believe that the memories i have of "my self" are memories of a single individual.  and on the other hand, its like nothing has changed.

fly fishing to me is a sign of my person "coming home."  it is a sign of belonging to myself.  it is at once both a sign of my having fully embraced "adulthood" and at the same time a connection to all that is "youth" within me.  when i step into the river, it "just is" true that there are few other moments in life that i am more "shane" than when my feet submerge.

in this sense, fly fishing could not possibly be less about fly fishing than it is, but it is precisely for this reason that it is "freed" to be one of the most enjoyable things i have ever taken part in.

paradox.

"free from desire you realize the mystery."  life is filled with such paradoxes.  i expect nothing from the river, from the trout living beneath the surface, from the sky above me, from the air i breathe....  and thus i am free to receive it all.

as gift.

looking back...  i'm not sure what any of this has to do with my dad's having taught me to take time to do something well.  but as i ritually take place in deep introspection, i see the blossoming of something in that memory that has become less about something i "do" and more about something i "am."

fly fishing has been a beautiful lens through which to understand myself and everything i have become...  both good and not-so-good.....

when i reflected back upon my first trip to the kinnickinnic, my first wisconsin trout caught at the helm of my good friend joe's firm but paced instruction, the setting sun on a seasonably warm march evening, and one last rise that i hope will always quicken my heart....  it was my dad's example that came to mind, and the seemingly countless examples which experience has presented to help internalize this priceless bit of wisdom....

...that a job done well....   really is "worth" it......